Excerpt from page 171-189 Marco H2O: The Philosopher
171
(From the Red Curtain we fade to The Delta night as Confucius Jones observes Youngster and then attempts to show him, The Light)
Confucius Jones♂:
Confucius Jones or FU as he is best known on The Delta Tracks He is dark and tall, well dressed, smooth talking, smooth walking and A Blunt Smoking Pimp…
He wears Red Aviator Sunglasses and a red button down collared shirt with the Buttons undone an eighth of the way
It is a hot Delta night when we are introduced to him…
FU rarely raises his voice. His hoes know the rule:
“FU will beat yuh to teach yuh and if yuh still can’t dig game, FU will release yuh”
He has decided to apprentice a fifteen year old turned pimp After he sees the boy slap a hoe
FU, the consummate gentleman offers Game after the incident
Fading into da Delta Track Scene the absent audience sees him check up on and collect from some of his hoes
A small while later He walks over to the familiar looking Youngsta on His cool looking bicycle
His new student is eager and smiling at the TWANG of his mentor
The young apprentice leans patiently against the graffiti wall and listens to
Every Word The Elder Pimp recites
172
FU:
(Approaching, smiling and extending his hand to the young man)
How yuh doin’ Youngsta? Nice bicycle
Youngsta:
(Smiling and accepting FU’s hand)
Thank yuh suh; I jus got it Whut’s good wit yuh old tima?
FU:
(Studying the boy with a curious smile and a slight laughter)
Old tima?
Damn young nigguh
I was jus ridin’ my bicycle yestuhday, shiiit
(Slight laughing chuckle)
Yeuh, yeuh, I suppose I been on dese heuh tracks a while now, So yuh’ll listen when I tell yuh
Keep it low and cool, young daddy
Handle yuh buness ’way from da tracks; yuh dig?
173
Youngsta:
(Cocky stance and tone)
Yeuh, I dig it playa, dat bitch been testin’ my hand lately; dat’s all dat was Da situation was bubblin’ fuh a few days, yuh knows?
It got out a hand tonight; it’s all eggs and grits dough playa
Dat bitch is checked Believe it
174
FU:
(Half smiling stare)
Youngsta she A Mean Broad
We might have to do a innaleague trade or somethin’
Befoe da playoffs start nigguh, shiiit
Yeuh, yuh got a natural eye fuh talent don’t yuh?
Yuh better put yuh hand down dough ’foe yuh lose dat bitch Rest assuhd young nigguh, dem othuh pimps saw dat theuh argument
Dem cold-blooded moufuckas is schemin’ on dat young bitch right now as we talkin’ Dat bitch out a line, close to bein’ out a pocket, but nut quite
Yuh put huh back in line and yuh put huh back in line tonight
Yuh othuh bitches saw dat theuh shit
Make an example a dis bitch and quick
Don’t hit huh on dat pretty face. Dat’s huh money makuh young daddy Punch da bitch in the gut or in da side, but nut too high on da side Yuh don’t wanna break huh ribs
When yuh become a true pimp yuh won’t even ha’ to touch da bitch
Da bitch need yuh at dat point; Yuh don’t need dat bitch Yuh can go get anothuh and anathuh and anuthuh And da game nevuh ends young man
Yuh dig?
Yuh bettuh, shiiit; The Game is a mile a minute Yuh gotta be wit it ‘o’ quit it
175
Youngsta:
How do I teach dat bitch to do what I want widout hittin huh? I don’ really like hittin dat bitch FU
FU:
(Confused look w/a slight angry tone)
Whut?
Nigguh, is yuh a pimp ‘o’ a kidagauten teachuh nigguh? Moufucka if da bitch need to be beat yuh beat da bitch Yuh beat da bitch
Yuh, beat, da, bitch…
Repetition Nigguh
Dat’s how yuh teach bitches, Repetition
It was starin’ yuh in da face da whole time Remembuh to constantly educate yuh bitches
Dat’s whut FU do
Nigguh My Bitches been out a pocket too Not too many times
Ovuh da yeuhs I educated ‘em and tested ’em
Taught dem bitches everythang dey know
New bitches see dese bitches lookin’ nice and word gets ‘round how yuh run buness I tell all my bitches da same shit:
“FU will beat yuh to teach yuh and if yuh still can’t dig game, FU will release yuh”
176
Youngsta:
What if yuh love dat bitch? Do yuh still beat huh? Dat don’t feel right FU
177
FU:
(More confused w/ a slight chuckle)
Nigguh, what is wrong wit yuh nigguh?
Yuh got da game fucked to pieces my nigguh…
Most dese nigguhs mistake bein pussy whipped fuh Love; Fuck dem Fuck Nigguhs, dat’s who yuh sound like
Dey nut able to think straight cause she drainin’ his punk ass of Fluids necessary to incoporate thought
Dat’s dat pimp juice Rappas be talkin about, but
Some nigguhs think PIMP JUICE is sperm
Don’t be like dem Fuck Nigguhs
Create a back up a pimp juice, so a bitch can’t make yuh stupid yuh nut
I’m gon’ let yuh deciphuh dat one yuhself
Dat’s real buness Youngsta and nevuh share yuh buness wit’ dese bitches Dese bitches should thank what yuh tell ’em not what yuh show ’em
I call dat theuh provuhbial pimpin
Get a bitch actin’ free and trick huh into thankin’ she ain’t bein’ hoed out Dat’s jus 101 right theuh
One of my hoes was out a line once; yuh know whut dat bitch called me,
Right befoe I slapped huh face stupid?
Dat bitch called me ‘Confuse Us Jones’, not Confucius Jones nigguh ‘Confuse Us Jones’.
Dat’s how bad I had dat bitch in da head
178
FU:
Yuh gotta own a bitch mind young daddy Once yuh own huh mind, ain’t nuttin left Yuh now got yuhself a hole for a lady, h.o.l.e.
Da ‘L’gets lost in da streets
Dat theuh is 101 fuh yuh…
Nigguh, I got my bitches askin’ puhmission to use da washroom nigguh
Dese bitches have to thank what I tell ‘em to thank
Dat’s how yuh gotta get dat young bitch dependin’ on yuh
‘Til she can’t make a move widout yuh…
I jus play da game’s game young nigguh; da rules came befoe me, yuh dig?
A pimp’s rule is the main rule, so don’t forget when I tell it:
“We run da hoes, da hoes don’t run us, evuh”
101…
179
Youngsta:
(Nervous tone)
It ain’t that I don’t dig da game, but I don’t thank I can do dat
I was thankin’ ‘bout it, but I don’t know if I’m gon be able to jus’ beat huh Me and dat bitch been through a lot FU
180
FU:
(Slight laughter)
All da more reason to discipline da bitch I’m not sayin’ beat huh everyday Dat would be cruel and FU is nut cruel
But when a bitch ain’t doin’ what a bitch should we got a moufuckin’ prolem Now we got a broken bitch, we gotta fix
Bitches are expensive to fix young pimp, so yuh train ’em right when yuh get ’em
Yuh see, People thank da pimp don’t love his hoes, cause Da Pimp slap his hoes On da contrary young one, Da True Pimp love his hoes and will kill fuh his hoes But nut fuh da individual hoe huhself
Da pimp defend da principle of protectin’ his propuhty
But ain’t nuttin’ wrong wit feelin’ somethin’ fuh da bitch, jus be able to discipline Da Bitch, Widout bein tenduh ’bout it
181
FU:
Look heuh, dat’s da game right theuh young nigguh
Dis shit yuh standin’ on is all pimps and hoes
I ain’t jus talkin’ our immediate placement
On dese heuh Delta tracks dis evenin’
I’m talkin’ da whole world young man
If yuh ain’t pimpin’, yuh gettin’ fucked Moufucka, do you know dat all big business is, is Pimpin’? Nigguh yuh got food pimps, pill pimps, technology pimps, Construction and deconstruction pimps
If yuh ain’t pimpin’ Youngsta, yuh gettin’ fucked Where dat lil’ bitch at now?
182
Youngsta:
I sent da bitch home; she should be theuh by now
FU:
(Slight laughter)
Yeuh, yeuh, don’t, don’t, don’t do dat, evuh again
A depressed hoe is a time bomb, young nigguh
Widout propuh guidance, dat bitch is liable to explode into
A flurry of dick suckin’ and butt fuckin’, widout yuh gettin paid… Never send yuh bitches off alone and mad, 101 young nigguh
Only do dat when yuh hand get so strong,
dat da bitch need yuh telepathy to function right
She might be blowin’ up another hand right now all confused ’bout youh game Yuh see, it’s yuh fault Youngsta; she jus’ a hoe, she do whut she tol’
Yuh control da game she play and yuh ain’t coachin’ huh right
She was lookin’ fuh somethin’ to believe in and she found dat somethin’ in youh game When youh game did what it did tonight, dat bitch start to thank she got ‘tricked’ Hence, a time bomb young nigguh
Yuh bettuh call dat bitch; see if she home and go handle yuh shit Get on it; time is of da essence young pimp…
Get on dat
183
(The Young Pimp dials and speaks in the echoed silence a few yards from his mentor FU now curiously focuses on one of his hoes looking, bored?
She looks very familiar to the absent audience
Youngsta soon hangs up his phone and walks over to a preoccupied Confucius Jones)
FU:
(Serious expression shouting at a lazy bitch)
Ey bitch, ac’ right!
Yuh know da rule bitch!
Check yuh calenduh, yuh lazy bitch, ac’in like it ain’t moufuckin’ Friday Night! (Pointing at the hoe, now being called ‘bitch’)
Walk like yuh wan’ it bitch
(The bitch puts on her meanest strut as FU studies her)
Yeuh, a nigguh thought so!
(Pointing at the bitch)
Ac’ right moufucka, shiiit!
(A semi-low whisper in front of Youngsta while looking angrily at his bitch)
Fuckin bitch must be losin’ huh fuckin’mind, pacin’ on da track (Disgusted expression looking at the bitch, still with a semi-low whisper)
Lazy bitch
(Addressing Youngsta smiling with a curious tone)
Dat bitch was home?
184
Youngsta:
(Relief in his voice and expression)
Yeuh, She was at home; dat bitch ain’t goin’ nowheuh
She make moe money workin’ on my website dan she do out heuh
FU:
(Excited, loud and smiling, but laughing when the dialogue tastes sweet on his tongue)
Website?
Whut, young nigguh, yuh got a website? Shiiit!!!
Yuh da moufucka I need to be talkin to…
Man, I got dese two young bitches nigguh, man, nigguh, yo, yo
Youngsta
I knew theuh was a moufuckin’ reason I was talkin’ to youh young ass
Dat was Ohganic; Dat what dat was
Young nigguh, do you know what a ORGY is?
I tell yuh ’bout dat at a latuh date; Yuh ain’t ready fuh Da Heavy Telepathy But dese bitches I gots, dem bitches is mean Youngsta
Dem bitches, dem bitches change my life nigguh
If moufuckas on da innanet see dis heuh shit, nigguhs will sell dey soul fuh dat theuh I even got dis mothuh and daughtuh team
Woooh!
185
Youngsta:
(Surprised smiling laughter staring at FU)
A mothuh and daughtuh?
Dam FU, you a cold-blooded nigguh and dat’s fuh real
FU:
(Semi-serious with a slight chuckle)
Shiiit nigguh, when yuh see whut dese bitches can do, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oooh! Jus unafraid a germs da two a dem
I get chills jus thankin’ ’bout dem bitches
Youngsta:
(Smiling laughter while surveying the tracks)
Where dey at Dey out heuh?
186
FU:
(Smiling while demonstrating a jig)
Oh no, no, no; dis heuh my little Track Team dis evenin’ Some diversify in stock portfolios; I diversifies in hoes Dem othuh BITCHES, TRICK OUT IN DA SUBURBS If yuh fuh real on dis innanet shit, man we can, man… We can make a killin’ young nigguh
I got bitches twelve months out a da yeauh
I got whut I call a ‘world wide stable’ wit thoroughbreds as fuh as da eye can see There will nevuh be a shortage a hoes, remember dat Youngsta
Moufuckin’ gas might be short, bread, watuh, but hoes… Hoes don’t nevuh run out…
Dis Da Deltas nigguh
Ain’t no computers ’round dis moufucka, but we got hoes
I don’t know shit ’bout computers, but if yuh do, we gon eat nigguh, we gon eat If Yuh for real on dis innanet shit nigguh, I got da hoes if yuh got da time Confucius Jones is a Hungry Moufucka, so let’s get dis FOOD nigguh
Youngsta:
(Slight laughter)
Oh yus, I’m very serious ’bout dat innanet porn FU Believe it; It’s true
187
FU:
(Serious tone)
Yuh gotta go home and handle yuh shit
Hit huh ass as soon as you walk through da dough
Don’t worry ’bout hurtin’ da bitch feelins
She jus’ a hoe
Tonight she know she was a bad hoe
She at home waitin’ fuh yuh to beat huh right now; I sweuh Don’t feel sorry fuh dat bitch; she chose huh life
When yuh beat huh keep yuh hand above huh da whole time Make huh see how angry Yuh Hand can get; dat theuh is 101 Youngsta Take it wit yuh…
She a hoe because she ain’t ready to be a pimp, yuh dig?
Yuh see, befoe most pimps became PIMPS dey was hoes
I’m not talkin ’bout sellin dey ass in da streets, nigguh
I’m talking, dem bein’ pimped by a system designed against dem And den decidin’ to pimp back and nevuh be a hoe again
Yuh dig game Youngsta?
Don’t be a hoe
Pimp dese bitches into da moufuckin’ground Young Pimp
On a bitch death bed
Pimp dat bitch ’til huh dyin’ breath
Dat’s yuh job, Youngsta
188
Youngsta:
(Smiling and nodding in agreement while looking at his new mentor)
I dig…
Arright FU
I’ll prolly see yuh latuh
I’m a go my handle buness ovuh heuh
FU:
(Semi-serious smile)
Don’t ‘cept no explanation from no bitch Dat bitch open huh mouth,
Slap it shut, dat’s real buness
Go handle yuh shit
(The two exchange a hand shake and the young pimp rides to duty
Confucius calls out to Youngsta yards away on his bicycle. Youngsta brakes and turns…)
FU:
Ey Youngsta!
Make shuh yuh come back nigguh
I wan’ no mo bout Dat Innanet Shit
If I ain’t in sight I’m around, just ask fuh me Dese nigguhs and dese bitches know me round heuh
189
Youngsta:
(Smiling and riding away, he nods)
Arright FU, latuh
(We fade out to Confucius Jones approaching his hoes w/his pimp stroll)
End Scene; we Fade to A Red Curtain…